Your Ego is Not Your Enemy

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There are many people in the spiritually awakening community who would advocate that overcoming the ego is the greatest challenge for one on a path of Self-Realization.

This ideology does have many merits. The ego is the source of separate consciousness which opposes unity consciousness and it is also what drives competition, animosity, feelings of inferiority/superiority and a lot of what are termed to be ills or challenges for the person on a path of enlightenment. 

However the approach for overcoming the ego can't be to treat it as an enemy you must resist. Anything that you resist, tends to persist and  something that many of us need to get is this - 

Your ego is a part of you that exists to help you understand yourself! 

Simply suppressing the ego and the message it is trying to transmit will only force it to bring the message to you in a more forceful manner later on. This will lead to constant internal conflict, which is not good.

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Consider this typical office scenario...

Jane has been having a hard time. She's going through a divorce, trying to handle raising three kids on her own and on top of all that they're rolling out some new software at the office this week. 
Jane is usually on top of things and in fact, Jane has helped you several times in the past with navigating and using different software packages. 

You're on this path of awakening and self-realization which is making you more sensitive and so you easily discern Jane's distress even though she is several cubicles away. You head across and give her a much needed hand and she thanks you profusely even as tears threaten to well up in her eyes. In that moment your intuition sharply advises you to try to cheer her up (so that she does not break down there and then in the office) and offer to have lunch with her, should she wish to talk or just share a laugh. Jane readily accepts and your intuition is now telling you to discreetly walk away -

But then...you spot the boss rounding the corner towards Jane's cubicle and your ego sees an opportunity to promote itself.

Instead of walking away you loudly make an unnecessary comment to Jane that you are here for her any time she needs. The boss overhears and now feels the need to ask if everything is okay. You generously try to mull it over like it's no big deal but somewhere within your polite pretence, it comes out that you were helping Jane with the new software. 
The boss congratulates you and you feel pretty smug about yourself but unknowingly to you - you just made Jane feel a bit awkward and exposed.

It's no big deal! You still have your lunch date with Jane and you both share some laughs. No foul real right! Maybe - but it does not change the fact that -  you did not listen!

Forget Jane and her awkwardness for a second because she is on her path as well. Let's focus on you.

When your ego challenged you to try to impress the boss, you were supposed to walk back to your seat and then entertain an internal dialogue to discover why you felt you needed your boss' praise. Is this a pattern that needs healing?  Do you typically need people to think that you are a good person before you can believe this of yourself?

By succumbing to your ego you just missed out on the opportunity to make this self discovery. 

Here is what you should do the next time your ego raises it's head:

1. Acknowledge the ego - Acknowledge the fact that you are, at the moment, being tempted to feed your ego.

2. Interrogate yourself - What is the lesson to learn? Or what is the area of yourself that needs healing. Does this stem from a past hurt or something in your childhood?

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3. Thank your ego - It is doing it's job! 

4. Talk to yourself lovingly and begin the healing process - Understand that you may have to confront your ego a few more times depending on how deeply ingrained the issue is within your psyche.

Know this - Love is the key to overcoming all our great obstacles which are usually fear based. In this case it's the fear that people don't know how good you are at your job.

So let's re-imagine the scenario.

You heeded your intuition and made a quiet and discreet exit. 
You then begin exploring a hidden part of yourself and you grow. That's it.

Soon enough as you continue accepting and healing yourself, you would realise that you don't need to seek out adulation. It flows to you naturally as a response from the universe to the new signal you are now transmitting!

For more reading on how to view your ego in a new and powerful way, check out this article from Howard Falco entitled A Powerful New Way to Understand Your Ego . I like how Falco offers that your  ego is really just a powerful automated process working from a script of your personal beliefs. He also submits that you just need to understand it and then you can make a conscious decision to change your script to suit who you are becoming.

So - love yourself and learn from your ego.

Love, light and blessings y'all,
Elizabeth 

P.S. - Additionally, there's really good reading on this page where I sourced one of the images ~ How to Stop Running Away From yourself